Hormones
by stonykitten
Summary: Everyone has to suffer from three basic things, even the godly man japanese man whome we all love. But what happens when Hibari pays head to one of his needs and contemplates his choices? 18all, Hibari all
1. Italian psuedoherbivores

**Warning**: bad language bad grammar OOC-ness, mentions of adult stuff, OC's Hibari being un-Hibari like, lack of plot and general charecter development  
**Pairings**: 18all (does this even exist?)  
**Rating: **T? M? I has no idea  
**Summary:** Everyone has to suffer from three basic things, even the godly man japanese man whome we all love. But what happens when Hibari pays head to one of his needs and contemplates his choices?  
**Disclaimer: **Have you read this thing? you did? and you still believe that I own KHR .

Aouthor's usless rant: Ookami and Kai belong to me, i take full responsibility for them. i don't know but i had a wierd dream where to of my OC's from diffrent original stories ran around with Kyou-danna O_o. So I decided to use them as part of people for whom Kyou-danna cares for. Anyhow, this is pure crack in my point of view. I just red so many bloody slash pairings that my mind wetn into a stop and refuses to kick back in untill i post this lol. So please enjoy and comment (flaming welcome too)

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After a certain lecture of an overly excited biology teacher this author has been intrigued whether it is true that that all human beings are subject to three basic needs: feed, sleep, and bread. If one was to take in a philosophical approach to that and ignore substitutes found for those three basic needs, the answer would be a simple no, as there always are exceptions. However, it is no fun to test a theory at its weakest so this author has chosen to test this assumption against its strongest opposition. An enigma a.k.a. Hibari Kyouya.

_A white screen appears out of nowhere with random images of a certain raven haired boy eating. _As one can see Hibari Kyouoya does feed even if it is in small quantities and usually containing meaty stuff, the diet proves to be healthy. _The screen freezes with Hibari feeding Hibird. _There were rumours that our subject does not eat, due to his appearance, however the subject himself learnt that he can not ignore food as it might lead to awkward consequences. _The white board once more flickers to life and the image shifts to a 10-12 year old Hibari fighting some rough looking guys twice his size. After 5 minutes of gory violence the raven charges to permanently traumatize his last opinion he wavers at a sudden spell of dizziness trips over an unconscious body and falls on his own tonfa - brow meeting the pointy end of it. Small lettering begins to appear at edge of the screen – food intake in the past 5 days: 0. _So our subject feeds to avoid more situations like this.

Next issue concerning our, usually regarded as inhuman, subject is sleeping. Now one always concludes before hand that inhuman consists of sleep ignorance. _The white screen turns blank for a second before a loading sign appears soon to be replaced by a slideshow. _For some odd reason our subject, while attempting to ignore other bodily needs never ignored sleeping. Many instances have been recorder where Mr. Hibari Kyouya was indulging in this vital human need. _A photo of the raven teen sleeping in the hospital room appears soon fallowed of his older self sleeping in a yukata on the floor. _Ehm… much to our fangirl joy of course.

So thus far it becomes obvious that our example accepts the two basic human needs and entertains them once in a while. However the third one is a bit trickier to support. _The white screen changes into a big sign containing one word: SEX. _Sadly the subject rejects any idea of his hormones existing… or so he did or the first 18 years of his life. Even when his hormones won the battle with his personality Hibari tended to ignore their cries. Somebody should really tell kyou-danna that denial is just a river in Egypt. Anyways moving on…

After few years of close observation it was found that Hibari Kyouya does snap once in a while allowing to let his hormones leek and thus making one sad whore really happy. (Who wouldn't want to sleep with that man). Usually this cycle repeats 4 times a year and could be easily substituted by a decent amount of blood and guts. And this is where you and I come in.

'Um, but Kai-senpai, wasn't your lecture about human needs?' A blue haired teen sweat dropped, her hands still holding a pointer, the white screen disappearing from wherever it came from. 'And why is Kyou-nii is a subject? He doesn't count as human, does he?' The smaller boy tilted his head to the left his big chocolate eyes nearly sparkling with cutness, longer messy brown bangs falling into his childish expression. He seemed so innocent so pure, but Kai and everyone else at The Foundation knew better. 'Oh, or did you want to play school?' the boy clapped his hands smiling gently. Kai irked. 'Ookami, are you done being an idiot?' the boy's smile faded away as hi waved his hand bored. 'Well, you do not make sense anyways. Why should I care what Kyou-nii does and doesn't? It doesn't matter as long as I kill for him it is alright'. Kai snapped the pointer stick. 'Love, you do know that Kyo-san is our leader and we must take care of him. What if he catches something from those whores? Or even worse, what if he decides that he wants to find a suitable mate? Did you already forget the mountains of papers and arrangements we had to fix in order to explain why the hell the Cavallone was non-functional for a month after danna came to visit him? Or did you forget the bills we have to pay for the damages when he goes on his rampage to silence his freaking libido?' Kai never was a person of patients and especially not recently, since for the first time in her life the blue haired girl wouldn't be there to take care of damage-control. 'But you always take care of these things' the boy said cutely. Kai irked again. 'Kyo-danna is being summoned to Italy and' Kai gulped 'I can't accompany him' 'neither can I' But you can fallow him' the brunette scoffed, 'like I would waste my precious rest time on him'. Kai sighed and sent another text message to the Vongola Decimo. 'Come on, mate, react already, before it's too late' the young woman whispered to herself.

The all mighty Hibari Kyouya was seated in his private jet (where the hell does the Foundation get its budget only god knows) his mind drifting in and out: Hibird, boxes, Kai and Ookami and those annoying Chinese herbivores mixing in a train of loose thoughts. And then like lighting strikes a poor unsuspecting tree in the middle of a dessert it hit Hibari. An unmistakable annoying fact that the man was trying so hard to ignore and failed miserably most of the times. He growled mentally promising himself to bite Kai to death for not informing him that this nuisance was coming over. The man scoffed – he was going to Italy on terms of truce, after all the tenth generation boss went as far as using blackmail to make the fearsome man to promise no blood. Where did Sawada Tsunayoshi get those pictures was a mystery to the ex-prefect. The man grumbled and mulled over the possibility of Ookami actually spying on him.

It took another hour before the raven realized another thing. He was going to Italy after all. Italy-the homeland of half-plausible herbivores suitable to release his needs… They had to be suitable for something since the baby recognized them. Nobody is truly useless right? Hibari's mind wondered off to the first plausible candidate – Dino Cavallione.

At the first image of the man calling his name Hibari shuddered. The blond did have a nice voice and making his self-proclaimed tutor squirm and moan under him was satisfying on more then one level. However, there were consequences that even this man feared by pretty much everyone who flipped the 'mafia weekly' open, could not avoid. One was the wrath of his accountant. Even though flimsy and generally physically meek Kai was a master at delivering mental pain. And for some odd reason Hibari held enough respect for the female to sit through her rants and actually pay attention… And then she would cut of his tea supply, take Hibird away and forcibly shove him into the office which contained piles and piles of useless bureaucracy that was usually dumped on Kai. Yes it was better not to anger the woman. Then there was the issue of Dino's personality. The older man was clingy. The 98 voice mails, missed calls and text messages was as good as any proof, especially since they all arrived in the time span of 18 hours that the two men were a part. Clingy was one of the words that were labelled as 'useless waist of brain activity' by Hibari Kyouya. A small smirk appeared on the man's lips – Ookami would enjoy visiting the Cavallone again… It was beyond Hibari's knowledge what the teen did to his 'tutor', but the calls stopped instantly. And who was he to pray?

Who else was in that dysfunctional useless country that was worth to be remembered by our slightly dense subject? Realization once more tackled Hibari's stray thoughts – the Varia.

Even thought not exceptionally strong, the group could provide enjoyable fights once in a while. And that was enough for Hibari to actually remember their existence. The raven flickered through his memory like flipping through channels not even bothering with the mental image of a the weird umbrella guy or that rainbow-herbivore. Hibari flipped through a certain superiority complex having blonde before switching back. He frowned. He wasn't that desperate was he? And Hibari did promise no gruesome deaths. The cloud guardian's mind continued to flip the channels bypassing the illusionist kid as he reminded of a more innocent Ookami. And sex with anything relatively Ookami like was simply wrong. The loud mouth swordsman….

…The fish was too loud…

The white haired man already shouted enough for the entire population of Namimori, the last thing Hibari wanted was more unnecessary noise. Xanxus? The cloud twitched a murderous aura enveloping him and the plain and the entire sky area in a lovely 100 km radius. Kusakabe shuddered. The man had wondered what the boss was thinking so deeply about. And now every single bit of curiosity was gone – he had children to tend to after all and there was his wife too…

Hibari closed his eyes. Why was the world full of such useless scum? The man wondered before drifting to sleep.


	2. Vongola revisited

**Warning**: bad language bad grammar OOC-ness, mentions of adult stuff, mentions of Oc's Hibari being un-Hibari like, lack of plot and general character development  
**Pairings**: 18all (does this even exist?)  
**Rating: **T? M? I has no idea  
**Summary:** Everyone has to suffer from three basic things, even the godly Japanese man whom we all love. But what happens when Hibari pays head to one of his needs and contemplates his choices?  
**Disclaimer: **Have you read this thing? You did? And you still believe that I own KHR.

**Author's useless rant**: First of all so sorry bout last part so many spelling mistakes X_x. lol. This part is basically pure fail… I only love like few phrases from it. If you squint you'll probably see my pairing preferences lol and this one didn't have Reborn in it simply because I don't like him :/.

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Today the world is going to end. Tsuna was sure that a giant meteor will crash into the planet washing it over with destruction and misery or maybe the world will simply stop spinning – like in those American movies he heard about. The lovely Vongola boss refused to actually watch them – a life of a mafia boss had enough blood as it is.

The right hand man of the said boss had similar emotions, but instead of looking around nervously and paranoid he gaped at the man napping on the window sill. The two just entered the conference room – half an hour early mind you – and there on the window sill, washed over with light and looking utterly peaceful sat one person they least expected to show up. And even when the raven showed up, he showed up late.

Hibari Kyouya was early. Not that the man was know for his tardiness, it was more of him not showing up at all or stalking in with a creepy aura around him just few minutes after the set time.

Tsuna gulped – the man was sleeping after all. What if he woke up? Even now the brunette faced the wrath of an annoyed Hibari. To avoid having a new accessory in a form of a bruise Tsuna tip toed to his seat, Gokudera sensing the potential hospitalization fallowed suit. The room was silent for what seemed like an eternity when in truth it was barely 10 minutes.

'I'm early to the extreme!' a shout butchered the silence as the door slammed open and a certain over-achiever burst into the room. Tsuna sighed. 'What the hell are you shouting about lawn-head? Can't you enter the room like a normal person for once?' Gokudera snapped at the sun guardian. Tsuna sighed again. Wait for it, wait for it – his mind chanted 'You are too loud herbivores' and here comes the pain and the giant repair bill, the young boss's mind concluded. 'Oi, Hibari, you came as well! I haven't seen in you so long!' The world flinched. Tsuna wondered for a second whether he should replace everything in the room with red so he wouldn't need to replace the said everything after meetings… or at least the carpet.

However, our most adored ex-perfect didn't bother this time – it wasn't like he was sleeping to begin with. He just sat with his eyes closed. It was far too amusing to see the herbivores crowd and try to be silent around him and the man needed some amusement in his life with that slave-driving accountant of his. The man's mind once more wondered off to his 'subordinates' probably trying to figure out why he let those two have so much freedom. Anybody else would be bitten to death by that time.

And then it came again… The wandering mind stopped at a more vicious dilemma, that the man still tried to deny, however his eyes already began to wonder and stopped at victim number one: Gokudera Hayato. Hibari flinched inwardly. The man was good looking, and probably was able to handle Hibari's wild ways in bed. The cloud guardian, however, hated cigarette taste and the silver haired guardian tasted like a truck load of those. How did the raven know this? Well he is Hibari Kyouya and then there was this party 3 years ago and sake (or was it wine?)…

Anyhow the storm guardian was quickly scratched out from the list of candidates. His eyes shifted slightly to the man next to the quick-tempered guardian. Hibari's eyebrow flinched as he scowled – The over-active guardian was why to loud – a bit like a certain fish-boy. 'Useless idiots' Hibari whispered and for a moment felt a bit like Xanxus. The man's annoyance rose and his resolve broke just a tiny bit more.

Wait… if Gokudera was here doesn't it automaticly mean that Tsuna was somewhere in the room as well? Hibari's mind thought the same as finally the teal grey blue (this author simply has no idea what to call the colour of Kyou-danna's eyes) locked with honey coloured ones. The man smirked – even after Tsuna finally grew up and found a back-bone the fear staid in the smaller man's eyes.

Hibari had to admit it to himself that his so called boss was in a way cute and adorable. For a split second the raven found his imagination and pulled it out from under a dusty pile of affectionate emotions that were still to be used (don't you just hate buying stuff that will never be used?). Hibari's face turned blank as he imagined the younger man squirming and moaning underneath him. The visual image was enough to put even the straightest man into a coma from blood-loss. Hibari wasn't a normal man – or maybe he was too perverted to actually be affected? - And his eyes continued to explore the tasty snack in front of him. The Vongola boss wouldn't be hard to be dominated and while Hibari did take pleasure in making his 'partners' submit, even he could not say no to a lovely side dish of tuna.

However there was a huge obstacle blocking his road. Women… Hibari had more experience then he wanted when it came to dealing with over-possessive women. And Sasagawa Kyoko was just as threatening as Kai could be. It's always the quite ones isn't it? Obtaining Tsuna was a bit too much effort for the raven, so instead he turned to the window letting his mind wonder once more.

It was a lovely summer day outside. It was mid July. 'Kusakabe's daughter's birthday is around next week… He can have the next week off then as soon as we get back' Hibari's eyes moved from the ugly tree to the flower garden his mind wondering to Ookami – the boy could get 18 sooner so he wouldn't need to deal with the trouble of finding somebody whose existence alone didn't annoy the raven to oblivion.

Ah, the need is back again and once more the man turned to his 'companions' (even if he refused to admit it) spotting two new arrivals. Hibari didn't even stop to contemplate Lambo. Three words: annoying minor cow-brat. Wait, that's four. And next to him sat Hibari's last victim.

Yamamoto Takeshi. The man was good looking, had good endurance, was good in bed and was less clingy then a certain blond Italian. The ex-perfect eyes wandered over the man's body remembering the curves and the feel of his pray. A small smirk appeared on his lips – yes he might just do. Yamamoto Takeshi laughed at something Lambo said. The raven remembered yet another thing he tried to forget really hard. During their last encounter Yamamoto Takeshi laughed as well… During the part where Hibari's mouth was on the Rain guardians jaw and his sensitive part impaled in the younger man's warmth. Who the hell laugh's in the middle of doing it? That one episode hurt Hibari's pride. He meant to make his victims scream until they lost their voices not laugh.

A sudden creepy feeling began to crawl up Hibari's back. Ah, so he is here. With a god like speed the raven pulled his tonfa and pointed the tip at a certain pineapple-herbivore who was smiling seductively and leaned in as much as he could without choking himself to death. 'Why so mean Kyouoya-kun?' The man whispered barely few inches away from the raven.

No simply no. Hibari Kyouya does not sleep with fruit.

Hibari's mind wondered of for what seemed a thousand time that day. Why did he bother to come to these meetings? They were pointless and useless. What was Tsuna even saying?

Byakuran, Hibari, trouble, go –reached his ears. 'Fine' the man said silencing the usual chatter. 'Eh?' Tsuna began but Hibari was already out the door. Truthfully the raven could care less what the white haired man was planning. Byakuran = blood and gore. And he really needed some of that.

~10 minutes and a stuned silence later~

Did Hibari Kyouya just listen to an order? Did he actually listen? Tsuna was absolutely sure that the world was going to end now. Not that he minded. His guardians' safety comes first. A cell phone interrupted the silence. 'Who the hell left his cell phone on? Show some respect for the tenth, bastards' growled Gokudera snapping into his offensive puppy mode. 'Gokudera-kun, it's my phone' said Tsuna to the man who immediately blushed and began apologizing.

Tsuna's face turned from relieved to apologetic before it turned bright read and finally turned blank. The young boss put his cell phone down. 'Why me? Why all the time me?' his mind chanted as his right hand man continued with the meeting.

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A/N: 'Hibari Kyouya does not sleep with fruit' was the phrase that kicked this whole fiction up. And the next chapter is going to be the phone call lol and Tsuna's p.o.v during the meeting n-n. and maybe a bit of 10018 O_o?

lol ehm thanks for reading ^o^


	3. Tsuna's pov

**Warning**: bad language bad grammar OOC-ness, mentions of adult stuff, Oc's Hibari being un-Hibari like, Tsuna being paranoid, lack of plot and general character development  
**Pairings**: 18all (does this even exist?)  
**Rating: **T? M? I has no idea  
**Summary:** Everyone has to suffer from three basic things, even the godly Japanese man whom we all love. But what happens when Hibari pays head to one of his needs and contemplates his choices?  
**Disclaimer: **Have you read this thing? You did? And you still believe that I own KHR.

**Author's useless rant**: Woot chapter 3 is up! And thankies for reviews *throws cookies around* I never expected to get any *sparkle, sparkle*. This chapter is sort of Tsuna' s p.o.v. and his intake on Hibari's weird ehm cravings? I changed the setting for a phone call a bit I think I need to fix it on the other chappie too.

That one particular day in Tsuna's life was an unusually happy day –Reborn wasn't there to harass him, there was no mafia families plotting his death and even the sky was clear. All butterflies and rainbows really. Until his storm guardian burst into the room waving a fail. Byakuran yet again ,managed to fuck up everyone's good day. After looking at the papers Tsuna knew that he will have to gather his guardians. The young man sighed – so much for butterflies and rainbows.

Few days later the brunette was walking to the meeting of immanent doom. Not that he knew that if he did Tsuna might just have opted for a video conference. Even when the young boss opened the door and saw what he never thought he will see in his stressful little life Tsuna still clung to the idea of some far away butterflies despite the visions of mass catastrophes entering his mind.

It was only when his brother in law burst into the room that Tsuna noticed that something was wrong with this cloud guardian. The brunette stared and stared but couldn't put his finger on the look in his guardian's eyes. He saw it somewhere, right?

And when the fearsome man woke up and did not make a bloody massacre of everyone in the room Tsuna knew that something was wrong.

It hit him hard. Like a 9 tone truck. The brunette blinked. Now he remembered - it was the look Hibari had in his eyes after which neither Dino nor Yamamoto could walk properly for a month. No way. The man shook his head – Kai would have informed him. The woman always does. Tsuna starred at the cloud guardian trying to prove his hyper intuition wrong – damn that thing to hell and back. Their eyes locked and Tsuna knew that one of his guardians is going to be screwed.

The young boss began panicking silently. No, no – he didn't need any of his friends to get molested like that. The man sighed in relief as Hibari turned away from him. Maybe just maybe he was wrong. There was no message from Kai anyways, right? Tsuna pulled out his phone: 92 missed calls' 65 text messages and 45 voice mails' flashed the screen. All from one person. Tsuna sweat dropped – he forgot to turn his phone on general after the small meeting with Gokudera-kun. Quikcly the Vongala Decimo opened the first message.

_~_O are you dead boss-man? Anyways it's too late now to give you heads up so instead good luck_

_X Kai_

Tsuna scrolled down the unread message list and opened the very first message he received dreading its contents.

_Hey, boss-man, Kyouya-danna is having 'those days'. I just wanted to give you a head ups_

_X Kai_

Tsuna mentally banged his head on an imaginary wall. Why him? What did he do to deserve this kind of punishment? He was a nice person, he didn't swear, didn't wish anybody any bad and even helped old ladies across the streets – so why him? The young boss continued to panic silently as he tried to find a way to protect his other guardians and not seem too obvious. Maybe he should sacrifice himself as an offering to Hibari. Tsuna once more looked at his anti-social guardian to find him staring at somebody in the room. Tsuna traced Hibari's gaze his eyes widening. No, no. The man shook his head. Not Yamamoto not again. The rain guardian had damage control to do in Hong Kong and Hibari was too violent with him anyways. He needed all his guardians alive and breathing… preferably with all their limbs attached as well.

Tsuna seriously began contemplating whether he should throw himself on Hibari's neck and submit himself when a shiver crawled up his spine. Mukuro… He could handle Hibari, right? Tsuna mentally prayed that the raven was deprived enough to go for the mist guardian.

The ex-perfect looked away in distaste. It's over isn't it? Tsuna caught Hibari looking at him once more. The young boss knew that he is going to become a sandwich filling very soon. That or his rain guardian will need a lot of bandages again. Why me - thought the man.

During this entire internal monologue Tsuna was automatically discussing the topic of Melfiore and what a certain pain in the back side was plotting yet again. Some years ago Tsuna learnt how to multi-task… or more like zone out while his mouth talked – other mafia bosses could be so annoying. Why did Byakuran have to start something right at this time? If the white haired man just staid put for few more weeks Hibari would be a complete responsibility of Kai. Tsuna wasn't generally a mean person but he will leave the ex-prefect's antics to his subordinates at any day.

And here comes another truck.

Tsuna felt like an idiot. The answer to all of his current problems was right in front of him. Before his mind could even bring up the actual faults of this brilliant plan Tsuna's mouth spoke' I think Hibari should go visit Byakuran-san and see to this issue. I would send Mukuro but he is busy with…' 'Fine' Tsuna 's mouth was still open as he got cut of. The room felt silent as the cloud guardian moved from the window sill 'Eh?' did it work? Did it actually work? Tsuna began doing a wicked mental happy dance when his phone snapped him to reality. 'Who the hell left his cell phone on? Show some respect for the tenth, bastards' growled Gokudera snapping into his offensive puppy mode. 'Gokudera-kun, it's my phone'. Tsuna failed to acknowledge the apology of his storm guardian as he gleefully looked at the caller I.D. The brunette moved to a further corner of the room signalling his storm guardian to continue as he picked up.

A/N: one word: pure crap… (wait that's two) I'm not proud of this… it did look better in my head. Ah well Q_Q. the phone call is going to be posted today as well n-n.


	4. of sundays and birds

**Warning**: bad language bad grammar OOC-ness, adult stuff, Oc's Hibari being un-Hibari like, Tsuna being paranoid, lack of plot and general character development  
**Pairings**: 18all (does this even exist?)  
**Rating: **T? M? I has no idea  
**Summary:** Everyone has to suffer from three basic things, even the godly Japanese man whom we all love. But what happens when Hibari pays head to one of his needs and contemplates his choices?  
**Disclaimer: **Have you read this thing? You did? And you still believe that I own KHR.

**Author's useless rant**: this ish the phone call it's done in the utmost random annoying and tragic format possible. It's just a mix of everything lol… but I'm hyper and lazy and yeah X_X. And there is a lemony thingy with 10018 O_o

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'Hello' Tsuna greeted the blue haired girl on the other end. 'Hey boss-man, you finally picked up. Jesus dude I thought you died or something. Is Kyouya-danna still there? I tried to call him, but his phone is out. Did the idiot cause much trouble?' 'Erm.. no… but thanks for the heads up.. I had my phone on silent, sorry about that' Tsuna spoke out in a more apologetic tone. The woman on the other side of the world was probably just as paranoid as he. 'S'okay love, but where did he go… don't tell me that he wandered off to the Cavllione estate! The freaking family still looks at us weirdly after the last time… the bloody git'

Tsuna smiled slightly at the ranting woman. Kai on the other hand was pacing around the room looking and feeling more murderous by the second. 'No, well, I sent him on a mission to Melfiore base to check on Byakuran-san.' Silence fallowed Tsuna's last sentence. After few minutes the young boss began feeling slightly worried.

'Aww… what did you tell Kai-senpai? She's emitting a murderous aura all over the place'.

Tsuna repeated the same thing to the teen. 'Why did you do that? It's not very bright' Ookami spoke in a slightly teasing voice. Tsuna knew that this wasn't exactly the smartest idea he ever had. Okay, so maybe it was the stupidest idea he ever had. And that's saying something on its own.' Kai-kun, told me that Hibari-san usually calms down if he gets ehm blood… I'd rather have Byakuran-san suffer then…' The young boss began explaning his logic only to be interrupted' sounds smart Tsuna-nii, but it's not blood that's going to spill'.

The teen spoke in a sing song voice to which Tsuna just went 'eh' as the boy continued. 'well you see, usually it would be all blood and gore but we all know that the orchid flower person thingy is a pervert and Kyou-nii is a pervert as well in a way and when two perverts meet it's not blood that spills'. Tsuna gulped dreading where this was going 'It's probably going to be their cum that is going to spill maybe some saliva as well'. 'Ookami' Tsuna shrieked into the phone 'Don't like the word cum? Well I can use jizz or spunk or whatever you prefer' the boy continued in an innocent tone as if speaking of rainbows and tree's of candies. 'I wouldn't be surprised that as soon as Kyou-nii gets to him they are going to do it right on the desk in Baka-san's(1) office. I wonder whether Kyou-nii is going to top this time as well. He doesn't give up easily, but Baka-san is a chibi seme and those can be really cunning…eh Kai-senpai? ITAII!' the boy shouted in the background. By the time Kai managed to wrestle her phone back Tsuna was blushing like mad the mental images scaring him for the rest of his life. 'Boss, the expenses and any causalities lay on your shoulder' the woman spoke out in a cold murderous tone before hanging up. The young boss's face turned pale – just what on earth he caused? After all of his suffering he was still no good.

Hibari burst into a certain white haired man's office looking absolutely and utterly murderous. At this point even the devil himself would wet himself in fear. The sugar loving man on the other hand just looked at the visitor a spoon in his mouth and a marshmallow Sunday in front of him. Byakuran smiled 'Cloud-kun, what brings you here'. Hibari didn't even exclaim his catch phrase as he lunged at the white haired man turning his desk over killing the dessert as well. The raven could feel the coldness from the ice cream on his neck and through his shirt as well as some on his jaw. Kai was going to have yet another hissy fit.

Byakuran looked at his dessert sadly. It took him so long to prepare the perfect combination of marshmallows ice cream and toppings and now it was all gone. He turned his gaze to the man who committed this unforgivable crime. Most normal people would notice a metal stick being rammed in their throats but that somehow escaped our lovely 'gardeners' vision.

Byakuran could smell pheromones, libido or whatever that thing was called that men emitted when they were incredibly horny. You know the thing that made men do stupid things. But oh no, that was not all, the white haired man noticed splotches of his bellowed treat on the man's pale skin – the white cream perfectly blending with the cloud's skin tone. Byakuran leaned in. He never had a Hibari Sunday before.

The cloud guardian froze as his opponent's tongue licked at his jaw. Hibari Kyouya after all was a man even if he denied it. A deprived man at that… Resolve was thrown out the window along side the tonfa which was pressed to Byakuran's throat hitting a poor bystander. Arms clung to suits, ripping materials apart, tongues teeth and lips meeting in fierce bruising kiss. The men pulled away for air after few minutes before pale hands grabbed at their 'mates' hair crashing their lips once more in another vicious kiss. The share force of the kiss would be more then enough to daze the living day lights even out of the toughest men, but Hibari liked it rough and Byakuran wasn't exactly one to complain either.

The raven soon found himself pushed onto an office couch his jacket lost for ever, shirt ripped open pants unbuckled. The man panted and Byakuran couldn't help but grin. He had his fair share of beautiful and interesting men a certain Vongola mist guardian topping the list. But even Mukuro at his sexiest was far away from the beauty in front of him. If the mist guardian was a fruit salad Hibari Kyuoya was a marshmallow ice cream cake (2). And he was going to enjoy his dessert to the fullest.

The sugar addicted male ducked his head licking and sucking on to the pale flesh in front of him. 'mm tastes like French vanilla' the white haired man noted as his victim groaned and flinched silently at every single touch. Byakuran grinned to himself. To have the infamous cloud guardian writhing and moaning beneath him was a conquest any man can be proud to tell to his grand-children. You know, right along the side of world domination. Melfiore leader quickly shrugged the remains of his suit jacket and shirt before returning to his explorations.

Hibari Kyouya can not be dominated.

Even though the raven enjoyed the sensations provided by the white haired man (lets face it, nobody actually tried to dominate the man) he was getting a bi tired of this game.

Byakuran had no idea how from trying to eat the cloud guardian up he ended being rammed into the side of the couch moaning like a girl while his partner brought him to new heights with his experienced thrusts.

Ok so maybe world domination is a lot easier then the domination of a certain Japanese man. However knowing Byakuran, he won't stop, especially after experiencing the lovely new flavour of sweets better known as Hibari Kyouya.

* * *

Omake

Shall we see how our heroes ended up dealing with the after match?

Well The Foundation became a dreadful place. After hearing what her Danna pulled, Kai dumped all the paperwork on her boss dragging Ookami out and mumbling something about long vacation in the sun.

Tsuna was rather happy that he could preserve his guardians but he up to this day can't find a reasonable explanation to his accountants regarding the bill sent by the Melfiore.

The said accountants irked and starred at their charts confused. Pay for two ruined suits – clothes rip and it was two of the most frightening vicious men in one room, so it was logical. Destroyed office furniture – they were more then used to replacing that, since every meeting ended up in a destroyed conference room. But it was beyond any logic or imagination power, that the dutiful accountants could understand why on earth Melfiore was charging Vongola to repay for a marshmallow Sunday.

Byakuran's minions were baffled on their own. Their boss seemed to be unusually cheerful, despite the obvious limp and kept on muttering about birds that taste like French vanilla.

Hibari kyouya differently from everyone else, didn't see what the big deal was and continued with his usual pace of life…

…or at least another 4 months or so passed and the need cam back again…

* * *

A/N: OMG I finished it lol…. Sorry I lied it turned to 18100… I had fun with this though it made me giggle snort so much ehm anyways hope you like it… I'm sort of proud of this chappy.

1 – I made Ookami call Byakuran what I called him for most of the future arc lol. I misread it as Bakuran ehm and yeah it turned to baka-san

2 – yet anther reference to fruit… sorry couldn't help myself

And sorry bout Byakuran's extreme OOC-ness.

And the yaoi mini-scenes O-o. I have many of those but this is the first public one… so yeah review ^_^""""


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